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Talk wordy to me

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The English language is confusing, ever evolving, and at times completely nonsensical, and yet it has some lovely gems that are rarely used. Drop them casually into conversation to delight and confound your friends!

Comeuppance: A punishment or fate that someone deserves. Fun to use when someone has gotten you worked up and you passively-aggressively complain about them to others, usually while shaking your fist.

“He’ll get his comeuppance for folding the corners of the book instead of using a bookmark!”

Coddiwomple: to travel in a purposeful manner towards a vague destination. Slang; a relatively new word, yet describes most of us as we go about our lives.

“Let’s go for a coddiwomple through town.”

Scurryfunge: To rush around cleaning when company is on their way over. A time of anxiety and horror.

“We need to scurryfunge before Mum gets here otherwise she’ll discover that we’re actually slobs!”

Curglaff: The shock felt when one first plunges into cold water. Generally accompanied by a swear word or three.

“The curglaff was too much and she decided that it really wasn’t hot enough to go swimming.”

Eucatastrophe: A happy ending to a story. The sort of ending that doesn’t have you sobbing yourself to sleep.

“I only read books that have a eucatastrophe.”

Sesquipedalian: (of a word) having many syllables or (of a piece of writing) using many long words. Irony. This is irony.

“Librarians (who never shy away from sesquipedalian words) call the process convoluted.”

Curmudgeon: a surly or bad-tempered person. Probably not best to describe them thusly to their face or you might end up with a black eye.

“The local curmudgeons would often meet up to complain about the youth of today.”

Logomachy: An argument about words. Common in households with a Scrabble board, they can rage long and hard over whether or not ‘twerk’ is an allowed word.

“By the time the logomachy was over, the board was overturned and plastic tiles had been flung into the curtains.”

Argle-bargle: copious but meaningless talk or writing.

“Annie’s column in the local rag is complete argle-bargle.”